Dark‘Horses’

• Published date: 12 April 2022
• Publication title: Signal

I have no scientific evidence whatsoever to back up this claim, but I’m willing to bet that most men think they’d make a pretty decent spy. It doesn’t matter what profession they work in, becoming a spy will still feel like a viable ‘‘Plan B’’

Maybe it’s because we believe our skills will be transferable to spying no matter what career path we’ve followed. Mechanic? Can hot wire cars and tinker with enemy engines; invaluable. Accountant? Ability to quickly scan and understand complex numerical documents; essential. Intersection windscreen washer? Can get close to otherwise inaccessible people in their cars and momentarily hold up traffic; bound to be handy at some stage.

Perhaps the fact that we don’t know very much about being a spy is the reason we all think we could do it. How hard can it be? I like martinis.

However, the sad fact of the matter is that I have no idea how you become a spy. So even if I wanted to — which I honestly don’t because it feels like it’s a job that involves far too much running — I...