‘I broke down and wept for an hour’

AuthorAnna Leask
Published date10 August 2022
Publication titleKapiti News
Alastair Taylor lights a candle for his wife every night

He is determined to make sure his children remember her - particularly his youngest who was just a baby when Kristin Taylor took her own life after a harrowing struggle with her mental health.

Coroner Peter Ryan has released his findings into Kristin’s death in August 2020, confirming she committed suicide while in the depths of depression and anxiety.

Alastair spoke to NZME about her death, hoping he can help others and even save lives by creating much-needed awareness around perinatal anxiety and depression.

“Kristin dreamed of being a mother and was so excited when we found out she was pregnant. She mostly loved being a mum...until the anxiety returned,” said Alastair.

“My two older kids, who are now 18 and 16 adored her. She was the “big sister” type of step-mum and we have many happy memories which we talk about often.

“Our wee girl knows that her Mumma died and that Mumma died because she got very ill. We talk about Mumma often and she knows that her Mumma loved her very, very much.

“We love her and miss her every day.”

Kristin, 35, took her own life in the ensuite of the family home at Paraparaumu.

That morning - and the entire day before - she had stayed in bed, saying she was feeling bad.

Alastair had been checking in on her regularly and left her to rest for a short time.

It was about 10.40am when he went to have a shower and found her critically injured.

Alastair called 111 and under the instructions of the call taker, started CPR on his wife.

Two of the children - the baby and her then-14-year-old sister, were in the house at the time.

Paramedics soon arrived and Kristin was rushed to Wellington Hospital.

Four days later her life support system was turned off and she died

“Initially hopes were high that she would survive, but that evening her head started ‘fitting’ and so when the call came the next morning to come in urgently, there was little surprise at the news that she would never recover.

“It was utterly devastating news. I broke down and wept for probably an hour.

“Kris was an incredible person, and I couldn’t believe we were going to lose her…When I look back now on the weekend when Kris did the damage to herself which left her in a position where we had no choice but to let her go.”

Alastair said Kristin’s organs were donated - saving the lives of five people - before the machines keeping her alive were stopped.

“That was the worst day of my life,” he recalled.

“Waiting for the team to be ready for us to say goodbye to Kris. The last time her skin and lips would be warm. I held her hand and talked to her for the two minutes it took for her to pass away once the machines were removed.

“Her dad and my son were also with us and once all was silent the tears flowed.”

Kristin had suffered from anxiety since her childhood in Southland and had been taking antidepressants for around 20 years.

But when her daughter Greer was born in October 2018 a new diagnosis of “generalised anxiety disorder with depressive elements” was...

To continue reading

Request your trial

VLEX uses login cookies to provide you with a better browsing experience. If you click on 'Accept' or continue browsing this site we consider that you accept our cookie policy. ACCEPT