Cremation with full-face tāmoko ‘inappropriate’

• Author: Peter de Graaf and RNZ
• Published date: 10 June 2022
• Publication title: Northern Advocate, The (Whangarei, New Zealand)

Thomas Henry Tapiki Murray, known as Tommy, was buried at remote Whangapē in North Hokianga earlier this week after whānau members took his coffin — by force, his widow Sara Murray said — from their home in Naenae, Wellington

He died suddenly on May 31, aged 54, at a boxing gym. He is believed to have had a heart condition.

Sara Murray said her husband wished to be cremated and to stay with her and vowed legal action to bring him back.

However, Hilda Halkyard-Harawira, speaking on behalf of the Murray whānau, said that was not what he had told them.

“No disrespect intended, but Tommy had told his whānau he wished to be buried in Whangapē.

His mother, siblings and two daughters returned Tommy to Rangitoto urupā near his father, grandparents and whanaunga. It felt right. Kua tau te wairua (the soul is calm),” she said.

Halkyard-Harawira said Tommy Murray had only recently taken a mataora (full facial tāmoko), which had huge significance for a person’s mana.

“His whānau — his mum, sisters, brother and children — felt it was inappropriate for Tommy to be cremated. Kaumātua and kuia will always advise to bring the tūpāpaku (body) home to their hau kāinga (home), as the surviving spouse, despite their protestations, will likely remarry.”

The whānau thanked Naenae and Te Kotahitanga Marae at Whangapē for their manākitanga (care) of Tommy Murray in his final resting moments, and — when the time was right — invited Sara Murray and her children, Ashanti and Tahnika Needham, to visit their husband and stepfather’s grave.

“He uri nō Taranaki me Te Rarawa, e moe te moenga roa e Tommy (descendant of Taranaki and Te Rarawa, rest in peace),” Halkyard-Harawira said.

Earlier, Sara Murray told RNZ they had married in 2008.

They had spoken about what he wanted after his death and he was clear, she said, that he wanted to be cremated and remain close to her in Wellington.

He had been lying at their home in Naenae prior to cremation when some of his whānau arrived about 8.30pm on Sunday saying they were taking him home to Whangapē for burial.

A spokesperson for Sara Murray, who did not want to be named, said if being taken back to the...