January: The annual break-up month

• Published date: 25 January 2023

It seems that many couples who are struggling with their relationships stick with it through Christmas and the New Year because holidays, parties, presents, plans, and family events have been organised and booked, and so much emphasis is placed on everyone being happy that nobody wants to admit there are cracks appearing in the relationship

Also, many people stay together for the sake of the children. Then after the festivities are over, reality hits.

Napier Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) frequently has clients phoning, emailing, or coming in to talk about what they need to do if they want to separate. The cab.org.nz website has a lot of information on this topic, and the following includes some of the advice clients may be given.

■What do I need to do to get a divorce?

To dissolve a marriage or civil union, you need to apply to the Family Court. You can apply for a divorce in New Zealand so long as you have been living apart for at least two years. Even if the ceremony was held overseas, as long as one of you is living in NZ now, you can make the application.

You do not need a lawyer to make the application, but you can choose to get advice from a family lawyer at your own expense. Legal aid is not available for divorce applications. The process for applying differs depending on whether you are applying jointly or on your own, and whether your spouse agrees or not. If you both want a divorce, you can apply with a joint application. You can complete the forms separately, if one of you lives in a different country, or jointly, if you live close by to each other. If only one of you wants a divorce, or only one of you wants to apply, then one spouse can apply alone, which is called a one-party application.

■What documents do I need?

You can download the appropriate forms from the Family Court website or go to your nearest courthouse and ask for them. There is a fee of around $210, but you can apply for a fee waiver if you can’t afford the fee. You will need to include a certified copy of your marriage certificate along with your application. If you are applying on your own and do not want to appear in court, you will also need a sworn written statement (affidavit) with your application that says you have been living apart for at least two years. The court will give you documents and instructions on how to serve them to your ex-spouse. Your ex-spouse will have 21 days (or longer if they do not live in NZ) in which to respond if they do not agree to the divorce...